14 Sep 2012

My DIY undoing.


Lately I have had time, quite a lot more time than I have been used to having.  Whilst anticipating the arrival of all this free time, I believed I could achieve so much - I am meant to have finished my dissertation, written my first novel and be well on the way to winning the Turner Prize right now.
No prizes for guessing this hasn't happened, not even close and I'm beginning to feel that part of the problem is the amount of choice I'm presented with.  Whilst I am aware that having access to the internet, the luxury of browsing Pinterest and reading the blogs of the most creative and artistic individuals is something incredible, is that a valuable way to be spending my precious hours?

It is no secret that I am a sucker for a project, through an afternoon I can decide that what I really want to do is knit a blanket or needle felt Halloween decorations, then I might progress to crocheting placemats and finally finish by cutting up bits of fabric to make a bag, all based on the 'inspiration' that I have surrounded myself with that particular day.  The more I read, the more I want to do, create and make.  I hunger to try everything all at once.  Then as the evening creeps in and food needs cooking and James requires space to study at our small table, I pack up and realise that I have achieved close to nothing.  Maybe a poorly crocheted star or flower, or a couple rows on an ongoing knitting project and probably an awful lot of scrap fabric is all I have to show for my hours of hard work and I am left feeling unproductive and flat.

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My folders are filled with the hundred plus DIY projects I wish to put my hand to, my shelves look like a sample sale for Hobbycraft and yet the evidence of my work around my small flat is sadly lacking.  I think my love of a simple DIY project, a need for an immediate 'I feel creative' fix, has got in the way of using my time productively.  I could stitch a hundred more clutches or braid endless bracelets, I may feel fleetingly smug in response to the 'I can't believe you made this' comments, but deep down I feel like a fraud.  I haven't created anything, I'm following in someone else's creative wake.

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So this is it, seductive DIY projects, I reject you, I'm going to figure this one out on my own!

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