18 Jun 2012

A love hate relationship (a rant).

On Sunday morning, at my mother's house, I was made incredible coffee.  I took it into the garden and sat at the little table on the patio.  All the flowers were in bloom, sparrows were squabbling in the bush to my right and I could hear the radio in the kitchen.  Then my phone buzzed in my pocket and I proceeded to waste the next fifteen minutes replying to a text that could have waited, then faffing on the internet.  I squandered the limited time I get to spend in my mother's garden.
So, I am now back in the world of phones and, whilst this may sound silly, I'm a little sad. When it broke I panicked, like, a lot, I mean how on earth was I meant to stay in touch with people, or read blogs on the train or even do simple sums?  Only slightly melodramatically, it felt a little like my safety net had been snatched away.
But these last two months, oh my!  Not having a phone has been wonderful.  Okay, so there were a couple moments where it might have been really useful (for example waiting to meet James outside the wrong Starbucks) but in general it has been calming.  I have loved not twitching every time I hear my ringtone in a public place and not constantly worrying that someone is trying to get hold of me.  Not checking my phone every five minutes has given me  the space to settle into other activities; I have read, drawn and cooked without constant distraction.  Oh and I can also now add simple numbers together without automatically reaching into my pocket for help!
It is funny how we can feel so dependent on something so clearly unimportant.  

So, whilst my mobile may have made its comeback, I sense it may now be spending an awful lot of time on silent (or maybe even off).

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