21 Nov 2013

my dear Faelen, at the end of our first week.

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I don't think I can sum up into words how exhausting, blissful and surreal this past week has been.  The first day, waking up with Faelen asleep in the moses basket next to the bed felt like waking up in someone else's life.  James and I stayed in bed for three hours, drinking rounds of tea and staring at this crinkled being lying on the sheets between us.  
This week has consisted of tired faces, minimal sleep and shared smug gazes; the pride that we have managed to grow such a perfect small human has been overwhelming.

And it has been a week of firsts for us and him.  Dressing him for the first time, trying to figure out how sturdy his arms are when pulling them through sleeves.  The first nappy change, feeling frantic as this small being turned purple with screaming.  The first night where, despite post-labour exhaustion, neither of us slept a moment through excitement and anxiety.  The first morning dressing myself without the bump, not knowing what would fit and becoming acquainted with stretchmarks I had previously been unable to see.  The first moment that our new son fell asleep in our arms.  The first time he opened his eyes and we watched his uncoordinated eyes rove around the room.  Our days consist of hundreds of tiny yet momentous, perfect firsts.  I wish I could document them all.

Mostly I can't believe our first week is gone forever and already he has changed and grown.  He has softened and lost some of his creases, his skin has developed blemishes from being in the outside world.  He has shown us his desperation to support his head and his eyes are starting to really look.  Day by day he feeds for longer and we learn to read his noises and expressions.  The three of us have begun something unstoppable.

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8 comments:

  1. Jai, you tell this story so beautifully.

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  2. Oh lordy, what a lovely family you make :-)

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  3. Beautiful photos that illustrate the love your family has. Thank you for sharing... :)

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    1. Thank you :) in all honesty though, every photo - even the exhausted, bags under eyes, covered in something suspicious photo - feels special right now x

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  4. What a gorgeous baby...and what gorgeous words! xx

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  5. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, all of it!

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