dear Faelen; at the end of our second week.

We have reached the two week mark and James goes back to work tonight. I know my focus should be on how perfect these two autumnal weeks have been but, ungratefully, I just feel a little cheated that our quiet, insular time has to come to an end.



People keep asking me how does it feel to be a mum?  The thing is I don't quite feel like a mum yet; more like someone who has acquired a baby.  Becoming a mum is a little like having a birthday, in the time of build up and anticipation you believe that you will wake up and feel fundamentally different.  Then, like the day following any birthday, you realise you are exactly who you were the day before, and the day before that.  I am still me, just a version of me with new responsibilities.



That said, whilst I feel no different, I have loved watching James become a father.  I expect if you asked him he would say he feels the same as he did before.  But he isn't.  The efforts he has gone to and the patience he has shown in the last two weeks have been beyond anything I thought him capable of.




James and I aside; Faelen at two weeks, oh my gosh, the changes.  We have such alert times now - he has started to turn his head to look around and his eyes stare so intently at bright lights and close faces.  James and I have spent long evenings sat with him on the sofa enjoying these first moments of early interaction.

But as James returns to work we start the next chapter of babyhood and learning motherhood with days that belong to just Faelen and I (with no more avoiding of nappy duty)!