the first family walk.

We woke up one morning at 5am with Faelen making his needs known.  James made me hot tea as I fed Faelen in bed.  We opened the curtains to watch the November dark recede and were met with mist and frost - a sure sign it was time for our new baby hibernation to end.
The three of us bundled up against the cold, we faffed and succeeded with the Boba Wrap and, after a couple of false starts (Faelen has the unerring knack of requiring feeding then changing the minute we are ready to do something), we were out the door.

Having walked round Arnos Vale countless times whilst pregnant, imagining what it would be like to share the walk with a future, unknown child, finally doing it was magical.  The top of his small head in an oversized hat, his warmth and his comforting milky smell were always beyond my imagining.  I had never thought of all the strange squeaks and grunts he would make as we walked around.  And I had never counted on the number of people that would be eager to stop us and comment on his size, his hair and his perfect features.

It was a slow walk but one we had waited months for; our first family walk in the crisp autumn.

my dear Faelen, at the end of our first week.

I don't think I can sum up into words how exhausting, blissful and surreal this past week has been.  The first day, waking up with Faelen asleep in the moses basket next to the bed felt like waking up in someone else's life.  James and I stayed in bed for three hours, drinking rounds of tea and staring at this crinkled being lying on the sheets between us.  
This week has consisted of tired faces, minimal sleep and shared smug gazes; the pride that we have managed to grow such a perfect small human has been overwhelming.

And it has been a week of firsts for us and him.  Dressing him for the first time, trying to figure out how sturdy his arms are when pulling them through sleeves.  The first nappy change, feeling frantic as this small being turned purple with screaming.  The first night where, despite post-labour exhaustion, neither of us slept a moment through excitement and anxiety.  The first morning dressing myself without the bump, not knowing what would fit and becoming acquainted with stretchmarks I had previously been unable to see.  The first moment that our new son fell asleep in our arms.  The first time he opened his eyes and we watched his uncoordinated eyes rove around the room.  Our days consist of hundreds of tiny yet momentous, perfect firsts.  I wish I could document them all.

Mostly I can't believe our first week is gone forever and already he has changed and grown.  He has softened and lost some of his creases, his skin has developed blemishes from being in the outside world.  He has shown us his desperation to support his head and his eyes are starting to really look.  Day by day he feeds for longer and we learn to read his noises and expressions.  The three of us have begun something unstoppable.

the big introduction.

Introducing Faelen Stanley Dalton, born at home weighing 8lb3 and, in my unbiased opinion, he is absolutely perfect.

officially overdue.

Officially overdue but remembering to enjoy these last moments that are just for James and I.  
Tea drunk at five in the morning when bump insomnia becomes too much.  
Another growth scan, which despite stressful, let us see our baby's hair and long legs.
These final evenings in which we are still able to cook together.
A nighttime ritual of chamomile tea (for me) and reading in bed cosy quiet.
The final few days I can eat half a baguette and peanut butter in one sitting and hide the swollen stomach behind the bump!

a long-distance guided tour.

After posting a few pictures of Bristol a couple weeks ago, I got a comment from the lovely Fran, a previous Bristolian now living in France (and who takes the most incredible pictures), listing some of her favourite things from her time in Bristol.  James and I pencilled down names and places and were escorted, long distance, on a guided tour of our city.








Mostly I forgot to take pictures, I was just enjoying spending time walking in the cold with James.  I think it might almost be mitten weather :)  
Thank you Fran for the Gloucester Road Tour (as it is now fondly known), we had a lovely day.

printing in oils for a mackerel supper.

James is on call this weekend so the weekend, much like the week, is quiet.  And we are still eagerly awaiting this baby to make his appearance.  

I have used the time to fall in love with oil based lino printing inks.  After the postman arrived conveniently at the crack of dawn, I spent the morning getting my fingers stained in blues and greys and watching my carved designs appear on paper in a way I had previously only hoped they would.  The difference between the blotchy gloop of water based inks and the tight crispness of the oils is unbelievable.  The hum of the radio whilst burnishing the thin Japanese paper against the lino and watching the image appear proved hypnotic and, for once, my day ran away with me.  It was blissful.

The lighting has been terrible all day due to endless rain clouds, so I only have a couple pictures of one print to share for now, but I hope to be able to photograph the rest tomorrow.  
I wish you all a cosy Saturday evening :)

radio silence.

sorry for the silence, still no baby just a lot of fatigue and sleepy days.  We had a false alarm on Sunday night, seven hours of painful cramping and a rock solid stomach that felt so promising all ceased at five in the morning leaving me tired and without having met baby.  Since then frustration of waiting has stepped up a notch, every morning I wake just hoping that today is the day.
so I shall continue with the raspberry leaf tea, the spicy curries and the wishful thinking a little while longer. 

around here and weevil biscuits.

Quiet mornings, listening to the rain, enjoying halloween cookies and finally getting some time to sit with my watercolour set.  I am remembering to savour these last moments with bump however uncomfortable they sometimes feel.  This is one time in my life I will never have again - the next time I am this size, bump will be a real person in my life.

starting to look a lot like autumn.

I have tried this year to not be one of those people that is constantly surprised at the passage of time, but, seriously - the last week of October?  I genuinely don't know when this happened.  I actually found chestnuts on a walk the other day - not big ones, but chestnuts nonetheless.  For the most part I don't actually mind the weeks slipping by but I am a little disappointed that I have had a post in my drafts folder with sea pictures that I have meant to post forever (well, since July) and now I think I have to accept their time has gone!

Bristol is still deceptively green for October especially when you compare it to this picture



taken at the same time last year.  That really was a golden October.  

That is not to say that this one is any less beautiful though...

Looking back through old photographs always makes my mind wander.  Last October, playing in the leaves instead of writing my dissertation, I couldn't have predicted that this October I would be quite so hugely pregnant.  And by next October I will be sharing the season with a nearly one year old child who I can't even begin to imagine!  Reading this Autumnal post on Fritha's blog made me very excited for this future.


Also, I lied, I couldn't let all my seaside pictures go to waste...

further wonky sewing, peg-bags and baby-hangers.

Today involved a growth scan for baby boy; not only is he growing as he should be but he is actually a little on the large side!  As both James and I are fairly small people this was a very exciting piece of news.  Well done baby boy.  I even got to see his little squishy face on the ultrasound.  It was pretty cute and, well, squishy looking!

After being in and out of the hospital what feels like a million times, I have been appreciating an afternoon in the house tinkering with the sewing machine.  Today's slightly wonky creations are these peg bags; I drew the pattern using instructions from Josie Crafter.  As even I managed to follow the steps error-free, I would recommend them!  Whilst not the most exciting project, it is nice to make something a little bit practical for once and it is a pretty neat way to use some of the million baby-clothes hangers I have ended up with. I really hate throwing that much plastic away.

Apologies for the horrendous quality outdoors picture - my phone was not appreciating the cloud cover.

pregnancy // the last haul, 37 weeks.

So bump and I are nearing the end of this time, baby boy is officially at term.  Clearly we could still be in this together for a few more weeks but it is a nice thought that I could be meeting him any day now.  

Baby boy started his 37th week with a bit of drama and a scare.  Firstly I must prefix this story with - everything is absolutely fine. 
See, this bump is a night time bunny, every time I lie down to go to sleep he starts his break-dance routine in style.  Sunday night however was different, he barely shifted position.  Throughout the night I became more and more aware of his silence.  By the time James' alarm went off at 5:30am Monday morning, I hadn't felt him move for almost 10 hours and I was a crying mess trying to explain to James that I thought something was wrong. 
James was perfect, he phoned the midwives to ask them what to do, then phoned his work to let them know he wouldn't be in.  The Bristolian Midwives are wonderful, Bristol is the place to be for pregnant people; they reassured James at length, told him to make me tea and toast first, then to make our way over.  

We drove in through the inner-city traffic, both trying to be calm, reassuring one another.  The twenty minute wait in the hospital felt eternal.  Eventually the midwife called my name and bump was strapped into the monitors.  There was a lurching few seconds where she was unable to find a heartbeat then bump clearly decided enough was enough and he was bored of being quiet.  What followed was a slightly embarrassing 30 minutes of monitoring - bump moved so much the straps barely stayed in position and the sensors couldn't keep track of his heart beat.  The midwife commented she had never tracked a baby quite so active during one of these appointments.  During the scan of the umbilical (checking it is receiving adequate bloodflow) he actually did a 360 spin.  A full turn.  It took forever.  I struggled to stop tearing-up through the whole thing; tiredness, hormones and overwhelming relief and gratitude.

Baby boy is fine, he is well and healthy, he is developing normally.  We are so lucky.  

comfort foods; potato leek and kale cakes.

This week is going to be my last week of over-filling my free time.  Over the last week I have been so lucky; I have been able to see almost all of my favourite people, one day after the other.  And this week is looking much the same.  Friends are visiting from all around in this last, pre-baby time.  I feel spoilt knowing that my busy, working friends are taking the time to mostly watch me nap.  But I am exhausted.  As much as I am looking forwards to this week, I am looking forwards to the next one.  Burrowing in a hibernation and hiding from the world until the baby boy arrives.

I am tired but cosy.  I feel like my whole body is slowing down for this last stretch.  And in the moments of quiet I am enjoying in my home between guests I find all I can think about is food.  Warming, autumnal dishes to feed James and I as the evenings get darker.  Whilst this blog isn't a food blog, the focus of my days is the kitchen, so for a while this might be what I have to share.
These kale & leek potato cakes are the perfect simple supper, plus they freeze beautifully (I have smugly stocked several into the freezer for after babies arrival).



Ingredients

~500g of potatoes (floury or baking spuds)
2 leeks
a big bunch of kale
1 chilli (the ones we have grown are so hot only one was needed for all of the cakes)
3-4 tsp of bobbly mustard
2 egg yolks
a good amount of butter
2-3 tbsp of creme fraiche
salt and pepper
And to serve: smoked cheddar, or poached eggs and grated cheddar, or crumbly blue cheese, or goats cheese, or whatever your heart is craving.

Peel the potatoes and boil until they are mashable.  Drain and let them dry slightly before putting them through a potato ricer (it is important that they are well mashed).  Dice the leeks and kale and fry in a good knob of butter until they are soft.  Add the finely chopped chilli and cook for another minute or so.

Mix the vegetables into the potato and mix in the mustard, yolks and creme fraiche all together.  Season well with salt and freshly ground black pepper.  Shape into little patties; I made 8 from this recipe, and flour on both sides.  At this point if you want to freeze them, make sure they are well floured and lay on a baking tray and whack them in the freezer.  Once frozen you can take them off of the tray and put them into a sandwich bag so they take up less room.

When you are ready to eat them (make sure if using frozen cakes that they are fully defrosted before cooking), heat a good knob of butter in a little olive oil in a large frying pan.  Cook the potato cakes on both sides until dark golden and crispy.  I served ours with poached eggs and grated cheese on top but I imagine they would be pretty good topped with slices of goats cheese or blue cheese and thrown under the grill for a minute.  

Perfect with an autumnal slaw.




Also - look! A double yoker!  How clever are those lovely chucks.

a babyshower.

This weekend I got totally spoilt.  My old school friends turned up en masse (something we are lucky to manage once a year) bearing gifts and banoffee pie for a babyshower.  I hadn't really considered a babyshower - them being an American phenomenon and me being a British bunny, I figured it wouldn't apply to me.  Turns out I have pretty good friends!



A prolonged lunch and catch-up was followed by afternoon tea and cake at Cox & Baloney (including the best lemon and Earl Grey cake) then, following our return in the evening, James and I were made dinner in our own kitchen - literally the best kind of decadence!



And the gifts!  Oh my gosh.  Whilst baby boy now has ridiculously adorable baby clothes to look forwards to (I totally take back my boy stuff just isn't as cute complaint), I was spoilt with handmade earrings made my friend's mother (you never get too big for earrings!!) and a bottle of Prosecco with Babycham flutes to enjoy after the baby boy has arrived.  And, incredibly, my talented friend Jess (who blogs over at Jungle Noises) actually sewed a quilt - like, a whole actual quilt!  I can't imagine how long that must have taken!

So so spoilt :)

2013 the baby shower

2006 (quite a while ago) the first group picture ever - taken on holiday (the various men in this picture have all since been forgotten)!